My late Mother always uttered the phrase, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride". Wishes were ridiculous. You either DID something, or you didn't.
Although it took some of the joy out of wishing on birthday candles, it was still a gift; a philosophy to live by that meant no excuses.
Painting is hard. You have to fail at everything, then cheer yourself through it by saying a mantra of, "Well, at least you're learning!" Ugh. When you've made a mess of a half sheet of Arches Watercolour paper from France, that mantra doesn't help to put your mind at ease, believe me!
Every lesson that means anything also means a struggle. You have to want that lesson more than whatever will be thrown at you.
I wanted to knit, to crochet, to make a decent pie crust. I wanted to sew and quilt, to draw and paint. My dentist asked me why my jaw clunked...did I grind my teeth in my sleep? No, not in my sleep, but sitting in a chair with a "how to" book about SOMETHING in my lap, jaw clenched in determination...THAT'S when the grinding happened. Teeth clenched as I tried a skill over and over until it stuck.
You Tube is a gift to all of us. There is someone out there who has a gift and is willing to share it with us. I've learned more about knitting from strangers in Europe than I could ever learn from a book. (Thank you, Arne & Carlos of Norway!!!)
My heart pounds when I do "research", meaning I head to You Tube and type a word. Treasures will dump across my computer screen, waiting for a click to be opened. It feels like I'm always in school, except now I enjoy it. I study with the greatest artists and needle workers in the world. They never judge me, but cheer me on, for hours at a time, long after the supplies should have been put away for another day.
So, no wishes, but actions. Stumbling through until a lesson sticks, accompanied by strangers, smiling back at me from the computer screen, holding my hand until I succeed.
Thank you for spending this time with me,
Lori xx